You’re Engaged! 9 Steps to Start your Wedding Planning Journey
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The moment you’ve been waiting for has finally arrived. It’s a moment that not only comes with a shiny new ring, but also lots of excitement and emotion. Not to mention an ever growing to do list as you sift through the endless supply of inspiration and try to answer all of the questions your family and friends will have the second they hear the news. Your excitement can quickly become a state of overwhelm as you try to figure out which comes first, the date or the venue, or how to delicately handle budget planning.
It’s a lot, but as always, at Eastman Events we’ve got your back. So here are the first nine things we recommend you do first as you start your wedding planning journey.
1. Announce your Engagement and Celebrate
After you take a minute to take in the special moments with your new fiancé, it’s time to spread the news. Call your families and anyone else who you wouldn’t want to find out via social media or through gossip.
After all of the calls are made, then it’s safe to announce on social media, maybe with one of those stunning ring selfies. Then grab a couple friends and go out for a drink.
This is a good time to introduce your families if you haven’t already done so. Make it a special time for celebration and don’t worry too much about wedding planning yet. Let it sink in a little.
2. Get your Ring Sized and Insured
Nothing is sweeter than peace of mind. The first step to protecting your ring is to make sure it fits properly.
Then you’ll want to make sure it’s insured in the case of loss or theft. You can do this a few different ways. Many renters and homeowners policies will allow you to add your expensive jewelry as an extension on the policy. Alternatively you can seek out an insurance company dedicated to jewelry.
To choose the right option, you may need to consider if it’s an heirloom piece, whether loss or theft are both covered, and if the full value is covered. Speak to your insurance company for pricing, but the yearly cost is not usually very expensive, especially if you are able to bundle with other insurance products.
3. Discuss the Date, Size and Location
Once things calm down there are a few things you’ll want to discuss with your partner. These are just basics you’ll want to know before planning your budget or searching for your venue. It won’t be set in stone, but will be used to help guide you in the initial stages.
Date – Consider the season you prefer and if there are any must have dates. Also check with your key family and friends to see if they have any potential conflicts. Some flexibility with the date is advised, especially now, since we’re still seeing dates book up quickly as the demand is still in rebound post-Covid.
Guest List – Draft an initial list of people you might want to invite to give yourself an idea of many people you’re expecting.
Location – You’ll want to start thinking about whether you prefer a wedding in your hometown, where you currently live or some other destination. Don’t worry about the specific venue yet, just an idea of the vicinity.
4. Decide Who is Contributing Financially
Traditionally the bride's family paid for the wedding. Recently a more modern approach has opened the doors for more creative finances to cover the cost of the celebration. We often see the groom's family contributing in some way with either a lump sum or by covering specific line items like the band or the photographer. We’ve seen some scenarios where the families split it down the middle. Sometimes even grandparents pitch in. And it’s also very common for the couple to contribute in whole or in part.
There’s no right or wrong way to pay for it, but it’s important to be open and honest with those involved from the very beginning. This can be awkward, but approach the conversation gracefully and respectfully.
Also if someone is giving you money, it’s important to know where they stand in terms of decision making. Sometimes they want to be involved in the planning, sometimes not. But it’s best to be on the same page from the beginning.
5. Get Inspired
Buy some magazines, build some Pinterest boards, start daydreaming, whatever you need to do to start imagining what you want your day to be like.
Some wedding planners suggest avoiding the stress of Pinterest, but I actually prefer that couples come to me with some inspiration. I will always help pull it together cohesively, so I tell my couples it’s okay to go crazy here, but to do so with a strategy.
If you pin something, note in the caption what it is that you like about that image: color, texture, location, season, lighting, etc.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed in this phase, so I do suggest giving yourself a deadline. You can pin anything you want for a week or maybe two, but then back off. When you work with Eastman Events, we’ll look through that board together to find themes and help you to make sense of how we can bring those ideas to life on your wedding day.
6. Make a List of Must Haves
Gathering inspiration may lead you to some things you know you can’t live without. Or maybe you already know. So make a list of your must haves. These are the things that you consider to be your highest priority. They are completely personal to you, but could be things like if you have to have a band from your hometown, or maybe there’s a meaningful venue and you couldn’t imagine getting married anywhere else. Those are things you’ll want to list out before starting a preliminary budget and would be helpful to know before meeting with a wedding planner.
Try to limit this list to the true must haves, usually just a couple things should be on this list. If you end up with a long must haves list, take a break and revisit the list in a couple days. At that point I would narrow the list down to 2-3 must haves and create a second list with the “would like to haves.”
7. Interview Wedding Planners
With some inspiration picked out and some idea of the budget range, now you have to decide if you want a wedding planner. You may want to consider a wedding planner if you are planning on a logistically complicated reception, such as in a tent, or if you are already overwhelmed and stressed.
Many of my couples tell me they opted for a wedding planner because they have busy schedules so they wanted a wedding planner to make the time they do spend planning efficient and valuable. As a wedding planner I help my couples feel confident that they are making smart decisions.
We recommend you meet with a couple wedding planners to see who you would get along with best. Personality fit is very important as you’ll be working together for 12-18 months. Keep in mind wedding planners packages are not apples-to-apples. Pricing strategies vary greatly and inclusions are also different from planner to planner, so side by side comparison may not be easy. Make sure you ask questions and understand what is included with each planner before making a decision.
8. Create a Realistic Budget
Whether you decide to use a wedding planner or not, your budget is the most important thing you can do before moving forward on any decisions, and you want it to be as detailed and realistic as possible.
To build your budget pull out your expected guest count, preferred location, date range and priorities that you’ve already been thinking through. Keep those handy.
Set up a spreadsheet and start brainstorming every category you can think of: wedding planner, venue, beauty, stationary, fashion and attire, officiant, photography, videography, catering, cake, rentals, florals, etc. (Pro tip: add in a category for buffer.) Then if you know it, break each of those categories down into subcategories. For example, under florals you may want to add: bouquets, boutonnieres, family flowers, ceremony flowers, and reception flowers.
Once you have a complete list of everything you think you might need or want then you will want to start doing some research. You can start with an online search or ask around in facebook groups to get an idea of local prices, but it would also be smart to make some calls to different vendors to ask them about their average budget ranges.
If you are using a wedding planner, they will help you with this breakdown and save you the time of all of the research.
Pro Tip: Make sure you are keeping your spreadsheet up to date as you select your vendors. Create a budget column and an actuals column so you can always see where you stand. And keeping it up to date will help keep you accountable for your spending.
9. Tour and Select a Venue
Now you finally get to start working on the fun part, the party! We always suggest selecting your venue first. This is the foundation for every other design element you will choose for your wedding. At this point you probably have an idea of what style you are looking for, so we recommend selecting three venues in that style and visiting those. With any luck you’ll find your dream venue in that bunch, but if they don’t feel right, trust your gut and try a different style.
Also keep in mind that you may actually be looking for a couple venues: one for the ceremony and one for the reception. Possibly even the rehearsal dinner and a brunch (these two can come a little later though, but it’s something you can keep in mind).
With the venue booked and the date nailed down you can move on to the other vendors. I usually suggest booking the vendors who only book one couple per day first (ex. photographer and caterer) and then booking your top priorities so they don’t get booked up. After that fill in the gaps with the other vendors.
Your engagement should be fun, and a time to really celebrate your love. Wedding planning is about bringing your love story to life, so enjoy every moment. If you’re in the tri-state area and looking for a wedding planner, learn more about what I do and get in touch if you think I’m the one for you!